part one: policy and legal crap

Sometimes I forget I got my Masters because I finished right before I had Annie and my world changed so drastically, yet I actually use what I learned all the time at work and am going to use some information here as well. In my Human Resources Management class, we did a group project on a pertinent issue in HR. I worked with two other girls and we selected Maternity Leave as our topic. (Ironically, the one girl became accidentally pregnant right after and had an extremely difficult time figuring out her working situation - I would see her at meetings in Putnam County and we would laugh about our project in action.)

FMLA is the guiding force in U.S. maternity policy, and it basically allows 12 weeks time off for birth/adoption, serious illness, or caring for a loved one with a serious illness. During this time, there are no stipulations that you must be paid; but you have the right to keep your job or an "equivalent" one. Also, this policy only applies to employers with 50+ employees, so if you work for a small company, they do not have to follow any of the policy. Isn't this just common sense and common decency? We need a policy?

In Canada, maternity leave policy is a little different. In Canada, provided you have worked a certain number of hours (comparable to the number here), you receive 50 weeks of paid leave at 55% of your salary and your job is protected for 52 weeks. The Scandinavian countries have even better policies than Canada. And I had to send numerous emails to my HR rep to state my case to return to work at four days past 12 weeks. Several responses along the lines of "this is not the norm."

Let me give you a scenario: You are pregnant with your first and go into premature labor at 32 weeks and are put on bedrest. Doctors can't stop labor when it starts again at 35 weeks, and you give birth to a 5 pound preemie who is generally healthy but spends 5 days in the NICU for breathing difficulties. Before you even had your baby, you used 3 weeks of your FMLA leave. When your baby would have been 40 weeks (due date), you have already used 8 weeks of your FMLA leave. When you have to return to work, you baby will only be 9 weeks old and a little smaller and weaker than other babies that age. And you have to put him in full time childcare with strangers. And the lactation room at your work is miserable and your boss never says anything, but you can feel him looking at you every time you leave your desk to pump.

I can't figure out how to hyperlink an article, but I just read this interesting article from 2005 in USA Today regarding U.S. maternity leave. There are two points I wanted to bring out. First, the article said that the reason policies are better in Europe is that the feminist movement in Europe focused on special treatment for mothers, such as maternity leave and childcare; while in the feminist movement in the U.S. focused on equal treatment for women, caring nothing at all for mothers. See the difference?

The other interesting part in the article is that American women just accept policy here as a given. No politician is going to win any supporters by advocating for nationally paid maternity leave and up to a year of job protection for new moms. The last two moms at my work (secretarial, fairly low paid positions, and one is a single mom) each returned to work at six and seven weeks respectively. That was the magic number because the United Way pays for our disability insurance, which provides six weeks pay at 60% of salary. This is generous by U.S. standards and we are supposed to feel grateful for our awesome benefits.

Paid maternity leave and longer job protection will result in increased birth rates, increased rates of breastfeeding, and increased family stability and happiness. Look it up, the U.S. birth rate is dropping, which may cause all sorts of future problems.

exciting announcement

In honor of returning to work in one week and one day, I am beginning a series on the working mother. Exciting, right?! I have lots and lots of thoughts on this and I find the topic fascinating, so I am going to break it down before it becomes completely jumbled. If you come for the pictures and not for the Deep Thoughts, feel free to disregard! Hopefully my girls can read this someday when they are sitting in their executive chair or living in a hut in Africa or sitting at home holding a baby and think, wow, it sure is easier today. Because the truth is, unless you are Heidi Klum or Tina Fey, it is nearly impossible to have it all. And the other truth is that women often get a raw deal when it comes to career and children.

This is such a great example. I saw Tina Fey on Oprah a couple weeks ago, and Oprah was asking her about being the big boss and about being a mom. Tina Fey said something along the lines of this: "well, you know, no one ever asks Donald Trump how it feels to be the boss or how it feels to be in charge of rich, high-level people. Or how it feels to be a dad and a boss. But I am asked in every interview."

And, if you come for pictures only, I will include one of those too :)

mini girl update

I must say, Maren is absolutely fabulous. She is a good girl, a better and easier baby than most. She cries rarely and is easy to soothe. She is a decent sleeper. She will go down for naps but they don't last as long as she needs right now (although she'll sleep for hours in the swing, we are trying not to make that a habit). She goes down easily at night, up usually twice still, but it's not bad because she usually goes right back down after nursing and I don't even have to get out of bed. She is an efficient nurser, none of the lounging and lingering that Annie enjoyed so much. A lot of Maren's good habits, though, are probably nearly as much a product of our experience as of her nature.

She is a pretty, smiley, little thing who makes happy, little noises. I wash a little more of the brown out of her hair every time she bathes. :) She lost hair for awhile, but I think what is coming in now is the real deal, and it is definitely lighter than her newborn hair, maybe a light brown. Her features are little and sweet, and she is a super long, fairly narrow girl. She is still blue so far, but I think she is going to be our brown-eyed girl. Her eyes are bigger than Annie's and she seems to be darker overall.

Busy playing face:



Talking with Dad:

I am just really enjoying my time with Maren. With Annie, I would dread her waking up at night, but with Maren, it is a special time. I guess the experiences with my "practice kid" really have made things easier this time around! KIDDING ABOUT THE PRACTICE KID!

having kids is the greatest

On Thursday, Annie, Maren, and I went over to Maria and Isa's to play with them and Erika and Kaitlyn. I was trying to convince Annie to put on a certain outfit that I thought was cute. She looked at me very seriously and said, "I don't like to dress regular like you and Daddy."



I think that is the best thing she has ever said! We know you don't like to dress regular, Annie. Underneath this fablous printed skirt/striped top is, wait for it, backwards jeggings:





Another thing I am loving about Annie is how fancy she is with her v's, like this:

Vua-lando (Orlando)

Voh-li-vue-la (Olivia)

Easter pics

If those dresses look a bit dark for Easter, that's because that was also Annie's Christmas dress, and, if they still fit in December, they are going to wear them again this Christmas:

kind of wordless wednesday

p.s. I got my littlest girl to do a real laugh yesterday! Yes, I am hilarious.