childhood done right

deck the halls with balls of folly

Everything about this video makes me laugh.

A few notes:

• That is the annoying five year old voice Annie is using.  I know because that is the voice her more mature friends use.  She is four; just practicing for next year!
• Maren just cracks me up.  I always say how Annie is endlessly patient with Maren (way more than her parents) but perhaps she only tunes her out, hence the ability to continue singing during the mess-making.
• "Balls of folly" is how Annie sings "Deck the Halls."

happy (it was last month) birthday to Chris

who wore it best?

Annie may be the original, but Maren obviously wins this one by a mile for her fabulously awesome, "What do you mean, what am I doing?" face and her super sweet black Albert diaper cover.

 

 

Maresy at ~20 months

She is sweet, sweet, sweet.  Likes to be held.  Loves her mama.  Frequently covered in stickers.  Likes hugs and kisses.  Big brown eyes.  Kinda curly hair just long enough for french braids.  Just got really tall and lean.  Tough.  Likes to climb.  Desperately wants to jump in the air.  Definition of water baby.  Has mostly gotten over the hitting. :)  Might be labeled food-aggressive if she were a pound puppy - raspberries in particular.  Still crazy for baby dolls and animals.  Likes to do things herself - feeding, brushing teeth, carrying own bag into school.  Not sure if she is left or right-handed yet - likes to switch when feeding or coloring.  Recently in love with books.

Maren meets the mountains

We are concerned because she is not really talking.  She seems to understand everything, but her words are limited:  Mama, Dada (brand new and rarely heard as of now), ba-bee (baby), -bee (Toby), wawa, hot, pop (like pop the bubbles), animal sounds that all kind of sound the same (like a kitty of course), pa (pacifier), uppp/eppp (up/help - kind of interchangeable), fowa (flower), woooaaaaahhh, hi, ba (ball), ba-ba (also ball or maybe balloon).  Can you see why Annie wanted to bring her to school for "B" Share Day?  She nods "yes" frequently and shakes her head "no" occasionally.  She must be one of the only 20 month olds who doesn't say no.  Anyway, she is coming along, just slowly.  Long-term, I am not worried.  She is a bright and curious little girl.  Short-term, I'm concerned.  Right now, she is only a bit behind, but Maren is only getting further behind as her peers learn more and more language skills while her progression is agonizingly slow.

For those sans toddler, 18-24 month milestones look like this: puts 2-3 words together; e.g. "go bye bye" (no), has vocabulary of fifty to several hundred words (no), says names of toys (no), says own name and "my" and "mine" (not really but I think lately I have heard "my" a bit).  Yes, she has several months to "catch up" to meet two-year old milestones, but there are other concerns.  She never really said "ba, ba, ba, ba; pa, pa, pa, pa; da, da, da; etc." as an infant.  She is kind of quiet, except for her "mmmmm's" and her grunts.

When she started school in June, I never said anything about her talking because I was curious about what they thought.  (Was I being crazy?)  It took them over a month (albeit she only goes 2-3 days a week) to ask if she talked.  When I said no, they said, "she doesn't talk here either but we didn't realize it because she is so communicative."  The other thing her teacher (whom I love - mostly because she is also in nursing school) said was, "the words are in there.  She just doesn't know how to get them out."  That is the most apt description of Maren.  I know, she absolutely might just be a late talker, a bit of a perfectionist, who is waiting to come out with full sentences.  But Maybe Not.

She is having her hearing tested next week to rule that out as an issue.  I am 99.99% sure she hears just fine.  Then we shall see.  Stay tuned...

wordless wednesday

on adulthood

Tonight I threw away my journals.  I have been on a mission to simplify, to get rid of the stuff.  And tonight, my journals went, but first I read them.  I kept journals fairly regularly from high school through college, horribly embarrassing journals that I could barely re-read and would never subject my children to if the journals happened to live on longer than me.  I wrote about friendship, a lot about good friendships - I have had incredible friends in my life.  I wrote about boys, so very much about boys.  I loved Chris; oh my goodness I loved him then in a way I barely remember now.  Not more or less or better or worse, but different.  Occasionally I would come home after drinking (Grog House frequently noted) and rant away in pretty colored pens.  Fights with friends.  Royal Village drama.  Mark the Baptist (noted here because I had forgotten most of him).  Vicars.  The agony of deciding where to go to college.  Summers.  Quotes.  Poems.  Ridiculously trivial sections (e.g. lots of talk about tanning) and parts that sound like me today (e.g. I want a boy who loves God and Dave Matthews and plays board games).  

What hit me is that I have been married nearly as long as the period during which these journals were written.  The time during which I journaled was a period of intense feelings and change and growth; and now, here I am: adulthood.  I have no regrets.  I am happy and I lead an intensely fortunate life.  And I think it is okay if I miss Journal Me a little even if I embrace adulthood.  It is not my turn anymore.  Annie and Maren will be the ones who make beautiful pre-marriage friendships ('cause they are different), meet boys, go to college, think big thoughts, and, hopefully, write in journals.

yes, we still have a dog

Poor Tobes - I love him.  Maren just adores Tobes, which means that Annie decided she loves him too (M and A often have this weird reverse-big-sister thing where Annie wants to be like Maren, but I guess I get that because my sister was a nurse first!), which means poor Toby is hugged to death, used as a chair, and followed around all day long.

as much as I hate pacifiers and I do hate pacifiers...

...I happen to hate crying more.  And Maren loves pacifiers.  Like crazy, lunatic loves pacifiers.  My very-little-talking girl will give me "pa" all day long.

Annie's birthday letter

Annie my dear,

Happy fourth birthday to my fabulous girl! 

You have grown up SO much this year.  You don't look too much different than lasts year, but you have changed a lot.  Here are some things you are up to right now:

• Ballet-dancing.  You are taking the summer off, but you loved it.  You were the sweetest little ballerina I have ever seen and you worked so hard during your recital.
• Creativity.  You draw, you paint, you dress up - you are the star of creativity.  I love it.
• Story-telling and listening.  I can't wait until you can write because you tell a great story.  You especially have a love of spooky stories; which at first I found a bit odd, but I decided it was normal because they always have happy endings.
• Soft-speaking.  Your voice is still so small and sweet that we are forever saying, "you have to talk louder, Annie!"  You talk. A.  Lot.
• Sister-loving: You are a gentle and nice big sister.  You just plain like having Maren around.  You are almost always patient and love to play with her.
• Beach-loving: You aren't the best swimmer I have ever seen (our fault - not yours!), but you love the beach, the ocean, and the pool.
• Cute-looking: You weigh 37 pounds (~65th percentile) and are 42 inches tall (90th percentile).  Your hair is white-blonde and curly and you let me do all sorts of awesome hairdo's.
• Show-watching: You usually watch a show in the morning, and you still like Dora, but you have added whatever is on Netflix to your list as well; e.g. Strawberry Shortcake and Angelina Ballerina.  And you have started liking movies - such a big girl.
• Game-playing: You love puzzles and games, and I do too!  It is so fun that you can play them now.

You made me a mom four years ago, and you have continued to bring me joy each and every day!  We love you so much.

Mom

Annie's birthday interview

I have seen these on other blogs and decided to try it.  She cooperated somewhat, but I can't say she was putting too much thought into it:

How old are you turning?  Four
How does it feel to be four?  Fun
What is your favorite color?  Orange.  And red.
What is your favorite animal?  Kitties and dogs.
What is your favorite thing to do outside?  Play ball.
Inside?  Have fun
What is the most important thing you have learned in your life so far?  Music.  (Me: What about music?)  Actually, I haven't learned about music.  So, nothing.
How do you think you are different from last year when you were turning three?  I was shorter then.
What are your nicknames?  Just Annie Banannie.
What do you think about your school?  It's pretty good.
Who is your best friend?  Sophia.  And Penny.  Sophia and Penny.
What do you like learning about?  Christmas.
What do you want to be when you grow up?  Cheerleader
Tell me about our family.  This is kind of a hard interview.  What is it called we are doing right now?  Interview?
What do you like about having a sister?  This is really kind of hard, Mommy.
What is something you like to do with Mommy?  Play with her ear (laughs).  (Me: Are you going to be silly now?)  Actually, I like doing chalk with her.
What is something you like to do with Dad?  Go on a date with him.
What is your favorite toy?  Baby and Sherm and Walt and Maren's baby. (Maren's favorites would be the same, of course - causes no problems ever.)
Where is your favorite place to go?  Rainbow City
What do you love to do?  Play with my sister.
What is your favorite book?  Dora
What would be the best thing someone could give you?  A treat.
If you had a whole day to do whatever you wanted to do, what would you do?  Color
Do you think you will get married some day?  Yes.
How old do you think you will be when you get married?  (counting silently on fingers for awhile....)  Forty.
What is your favorite food?  Mac and cheese.
What are you scared of?  Nothing.  (Says one of the only kids who wouldn't go on the water slide during water day this week.)
What makes you happy?   Friends.

super

The title says it all.  This video is cute in and of itself, but what if you were just done saying a lovely but, well, boring grace over dinner; and your three year old just came out with this:

Yes, that is called super hero grace.

Then she wanted me to make another video of her.  This is a pretty good example of our little imagination girl:



maren is still nursing (and I only kinda care what you think)

I had thought to title this post "Maren is still nursing (and I don't care what you think)" but evidently I care a bit because I do feel the need to make a few comments on the situation.  Edited to add later: I should probably have broken these up into separate posts because this is long; but this way, if you don't want to read about breastfeeding, you can skip them all by skipping this post rather than skipping ten separate ones!
Just the Facts:

• The American Academy of Pediatrics: "The American Academy of Pediatrics reaffirms its recommendation of exclusive breastfeeding for about 6 months, followed by continued breastfeeding as complementary foods are introduced, with continuation of breastfeeding for 1 year or longer as mutually desired by mother and infant. Medical contraindications to breastfeeding are rare."
• The World Health Organization: "Exclusive breastfeeding is recommended up to 6 months of age, with continued breastfeeding along with appropriate complementary foods up to two years of age or beyond."

I Didn't Start Off this Way, or, If You Think Part of My Views Come from Unresolved Personal Issues, You Might be Right!
Back before Annie, I had hoped to have a natural childbirth, breastfeed for about a year, and work parttime.  Well, I didn't get my natural childbirth, so I really wanted to make sure breastfeeding got off on the right foot.  It didn't.  It was so hard - nipple shields, bleeding, aching, pumping, crying (me and her).  I was damned and determined to keep at it because I had lost my birth experience.  Then, as the reality set in that I would be going back to work fulltime, it became my goal to give Annie nothing but breastmilk.  I had trouble pumping enough when I was away from her (the unexpected benefit of going away for Sarah's bachelorette party weekend meant that I stockpiled milk for Mare, tricked my body into making more, and had no trouble pumping enough at work).  Around 10 months, I wasn't really pumping enough to send to Grandma's the next day, so I tried to give her a bottle of formula.  At that point, it was too late and she wouldn't take it, so I pumped at all hours to squeeze out enough.  She ended up nursing until she was 16 months.  Nursing Maren has been a breeze from day one.  She was big and strong when she was born and she is more of a nursing enthusiast than Annie ever was.  Though there was an initial struggle, somewhere along the way, it evolved into, "we breastfeed our babies in this family."

Breastfeeding as a Choice: Clearly it is a choice to breastfeed your baby or not.  Hospitals do not have LEO's (Lactation Enforecement Officers, obviously).  In my opinion, it is the natural and better choice.  To give you an analogy, I also think that organic fruits and vegetables are better.  I rarely buy them because we eat a lot of fruit and vegetables and organic is too expensive.  Am I going to stop eating healthy food because I can't afford a slighly better version?  Nope.  I cannot come up with a clever way to tie up my analogy, but let's just say that there is nothing wrong with formula.

Breastfed Babies are Calmer and Display Healthy Attachment to Parents: Both my girls are/were calm babies and toddlers and both display a healthy attachment to Chris and me.  I do attribute it, in part, to letting them nurse as long as they want, both in duration of nursing session and length of time in months.  The million other reasons why they are calm range from personality to routines to a peaceful household, but I consider breastfeeding a key contributor.  Which brings us to...

Breastfeeding Mothers are Cheap and Lazy: Formula is expensive! Also, I have no "tools" for crying, unhappy babies. I have some toddler tools, but nursing is pretty much my go-to for whatever is wrong with Maren.  Nursing babies stop crying, cuddle up, and emerge a happier version of themselves.  I have no concept of what non-nursing mothers do in the middle of the night when their babies wake up.

Pumping SUCKS: God bless all the pumping mothers out there!

How Chris Feels about Breastfeeding:  I will ask him, but I am not actually sure he does think much about it.  There is certainly the "this is how we do babies" factor at this point.  He has asked me, "how long do you think you will breastfeed Maren?" And whether it is the look (no words are needed) I give him or his genuine feelings or some combination of both, he wholeheartedly agrees that Maren is not ready to wean.  I have heard him recommending breastfeeding to his friends (he also recommends knocking up your wife so you can have a designated driver for 9 months so I am not sure how reliable he is), and he never hesitates to bring me a crying/whining Maren with the words, "she needs some milk."

On Nursing in Public: For someone who would like to lose maybe 15 pounds, I lack a lot of body issues.  I like my body.  It's strong and healthy and powerful.  I could care less if you see me nursing.  Example: You invite me to dinner.  We never go anywhere and you have been kind enough to welcome us into your home for three hours.  I am not going to spend 30 minutes of that time hiding in the back room nursing.  Remember, we don't get invited as a family to dinner very often.  I try to cover up with little babies, but it is just too hard to cover up a non-newborn baby because they don't want it.  Anyone at the beach is way less covered up than a nursing mother anyway.

Cultural Norms: I dislike the cultural norms in this country concerning nursing.  I dislike the fact that mothers have to return to work before a breastfeeding relationship is established and that, once they return to work, a comfortable place to pump is not always provided.  (I went to a training at my MAIN OFFICE in December and they told me to pump in the BATHROOM.  Ick.)  I dislike it when people sexualize breastfeeding.  I dislike play baby bottles for little girls and I dislike being closed about breastfeeding with children.  Sometimes when I nurse in public, I like doing it because I hope I am desensitizing people.  I think we should celebrate babies (nursing infants should be invited everywhere) and motherhood and breastfeeding!

How I Feel about YOUR Breastfeeding (or Lack Thereof): This is honestly where the idea for this post came from.  First of all, I wish I knew more moms in real life who were a little more natural, pro-extended-breastfeeding, pro-cloth, pro-no-cry-it-out, etc.  If you were my friend and chose not to nurse at the very beginning, my initial feeling would be surprise, as in, I thought we had more in common or I thought I knew you better than that.  I would feel sad because I would think you were missing something special.  As for those who breastfeed some and stop, my feelings really have less to do with you than with outside issues (see also cultural norms section).  I get extremely frustrated by all the bad advice that new moms hear from their moms and grandmothers and aunts and sisters and pediatricians and nurses at the hospital; about how "they need to supplement because baby is losing weight" or "they aren't making enough milk" or "you can breastfeed and do formula both" or "you should stop nursing so dad can help at night."  People mean well, but why can't we just TRUST our bodies and TRUST our babies?  We let the doubts and the questions enter; we're emotional and want the very best for our new baby, and it is just so hard.  Please know that the moms I know are loving and wonderful.  I love my friends' kids because it is just so fun having an adorable little extension of them.  I respect your decisions as a mother and I think mothers need to support each other.  However...

Know Your Audience: I belong to a wonderful, supportive facebook group for our local ICAN chapter, which is a group of moms who have had cesarean sections.  I have only gone to one meeting, but I do read a lot of the facebook posts because they are inspirational and I get it.  [Total side note: I am certain that having a c-section and working full time have not made me a better or a worse mother, but I am positive these things have made me a better woman.]  Anyway, one time a member posted about how she wanted to wean her seven month old because she had started working out and wanted to start a strict diet in order to lose weight faster.  She was looking for tips on how to wean to formula because her baby was not having it.  The group comments were all very nice, but they were like this: "maybe baby knows best" and "are you sure you're both ready to wean?" and "after he gets solids established, he'll nurse less," etc.  My point here is that you and I might not agree on breastfeeding decisions.  If you are as comfortable with your decision as I am with mine, who cares?!  (I actually don't care if you think I'm weird if Maren nurses until she is three, but I don't want you to think that I am thinking badly of you if you decide differently.)  If you want advice from me, it is always going to be, "your supply is fine, put that baby on your breast, you are doing great, keep it up."  So, if you want pro-breastfeeding support, call me!  If you don't want that, call someone else!  But feel free to call me if you want to talk about meeting baby milestones, first foods, strollers, carseats, baby toys, taking your baby to the beach, diaper rash, baby acne, baby dandruff, cutting baby nails, childcare, crying, whining, napping, not napping, short napping, late napping, skipping naps, switching to one nap, napping in the swing, napping in the car, napping in your arms only...

Breastfeeding is HARD at First.  And then one day it isn't anymore.  And then one day you realize it is one of the most amazing things you have ever done.

bonjour battle

monday quickie

This funny girl who said, "Mom, take a picture of me with play dough on my head!"

 Also coined this cuteness: Maren is crazy for babies and Annie calls Maren and the two babies the "attack triplets" because Maren likes to climb up on our laps with the babies and bang them on us.  As in, "Mom, WATCH OUT.  Here come the attack triplets."

ha!

That picture I just posted that I find totally adorable might gross someone out.  FYI, that is DIRT, not poop all over her!  Little sister likes to dig in the garden.

wordless wednesday

I'm going to call her a walker!

Please don't mind Annie's underwear. We are trying to grow a garden this year, and it needs a ridiculous amount of water and watering is, well, wet. So this is how we end up most afternoons.

the Mare-Bear crawl

first food tastes

We tried cereal with Annie at a little over 4 months, but we waited until six months with Maren.  Annie looks like such a baby in her picture :)

five fun friday facts

1.  We do not have a clock in our house.  We have a clock on our oven but it doesn't keep time properly.  I don't even notice that we don't own a clock, but it drives people crazy who come to our house.

2.  We also do not have a microwave.  Well, we have one, but it doesn't work, and it is built into the wall so we can't just take it out.  We really don't need one.

3.  We have been paid-TV-free for about two months and hardly miss it.  I am so happy we finally canceled it, although a piece of my heart will remain with Bravo forever.

4.  I have no idea what I am doing with my hair.  It is long.  I hate it.  I want to keep growing it.  I'm confused.  I should just cut off four or five inches and I would love it.














5.  My new bathing suit has a skirt and I love it.  And I don't feel like an old lady in it.



home _________

Chris has been home brewing and I have been thinking about home birthing and home schooling.  Not sure they are for me, but I get it.  Hmmm.  Someday.  Who knows?

grateful

Today, my little sister became a mama.

Full hearts tonight. :)

a new little blog segment I like to call...

Who wore it best?

First popsicles (M then A):

Helping Dad (A then M):

dear maren

Dear Mare-Mare,

Happy birthday two weeks late!

You are the most fantastic one year old. I love babies, and I loved having a baby for a year, but especially because that baby was YOU. You are so very easy to love. From day one, I just loved you with all I had. I found that the best part about having baby #2 was already knowing the love that would come and just being able to jump right into it.

At one year:

• You have taken a very shaky step or two, but you aren't walking yet. This is fine, because you are a highly proficient crawler. You've been crawling since you were 8 months, and you also have a finely developed bear crawl.
• You have an a.mazing smile. You have these sweet cheeks that are so heavy they almost droop down and six adorable little teeth.
• You have been a napping champ practically from day one, but you just started sleeping through the night about a month ago (thanks to your magic amber necklace - ha!).
• You make a lot of sounds, but Mama is your only consistent, identifiable word - and I love it.
• You are strong and agile. You can throw a ball like a superstar and make this tennis player grunt sound when you do so.
• You love your sister and your dad and just like to hang out and be included.
• You are a decent eater. You love fruit, pasta, and mama's milk; and are having a little trouble switching over to cow's milk. You'll get there.
• You like the pacifier and your baby doll.
• You crawl around and throw clothes over your back and head. Another future clothes-obsessed girl?
• You are tall (30.25 in - 98%) and lean (22 lb - 80%).
• You are a mover and a dancer and a climber and a happy little soul.

We have a special bond, you and I. You look for me everywhere, and I look for you too. You watch me and give me the biggest smile when you find me looking for you too.

You have brought all of us joy upon joy this year and we cannot wait for every next milestone.

With so much love,

Mom

what we did last week

What I did:

What poor little Annie did all week:

What sweet Maren did all week:

Chris, well Chris just works and sleeps. His loves his new job, but it is quite exhausting.

It's Sunday. Here's to a good and healthy week.

the fantastic first year of maren (in pictures)