today would have been my c-section

Based on my original due date, today would have been 39 weeks and my scheduled c-section. And it is looking a little like I only bought myself a couple days by switching doctors. Ugh. My BP has been slowly rising for the past three weeks and today there was a bit more than trace amounts of protein in my urine, so off to L&D I went. I passed my blood work and my BP went down, but I am doing a 24-hour urine and, if I fail, then I am guessing my c-section will be Thursday or Friday. Yay. I have a headache and a general feeling of crapiness, but those aren't really new feelings. But they are symptoms of preeclampsia. No swelling. This is a good sign. Sorry this is all over the place, but I am pretty bummed. I was feeling really negative earlier and am now feeling somewhere equally between positive and negative. If my protein is clear, I can stay pregnant, BP be darned. My doctor was really nice today, very positive. She called me out on my negativity, but come one, don't tell me that the ideal situation is for me to go into labor today. Nothing, no signs of labor. And somehow I wanted to preserve these senseless thoughts for posterity? Oy. I wish I were a shorter gestator. Pic by Chris and a self-portrait: