Dear Mike,

How to start?

I miss you so much. You are constantly on my mind and in my heart.
or how about
Can you believe you are dead? Gone? Where are you?

Mom and Dad are doing better. It has been just as terrible as you could imagine.

I hope you know how much I loved you. I am pretty sure that you did, but when you don't get to say good-bye...

Your FIT friends are so nice. Your apartment was so nice. Chris hasn't dove (dived? who the hell knows?) without you. We just miss you so much.

Annie and Maren have taken your loss hard. Remember when we were kids and everyone was still alive? Annie started sucking her thumb like crazy after we lost you, but it is actually almost a broken habit (once you start losing teeth, you are too busy wiggling to suck). We have also bribed her to stay in her bed. $1/night. I think you would appreciate that. Maren cries and cries over you - but most of this is when she is in trouble. As in, "I am crying because I am so sad about Michael." (As opposed to terribly sad because Mom was disciplining her.) HA! I know you would appreciate that. But the way she wails and screams, "MICHAEL, MICHAEL, MICHAEL!!!!" It is how I want to yell and howl too.

Can you believe the Gators this year?

We had another baby girl. Did you know her before she came to us? I try to tell her about her uncle, but it is very hard to talk about you and not cry. I was glad she was a girl because I couldn't stand having the same family we had. If she had been a boy, I would not have even been able to breathe his entire 27th year.

Any Christmas gift ideas for Mom and Dad this year?

Love you and miss you.