pregnancy update

So last night I got a whole lotta this: "you don't look pregnant at ALL." and "you are so small for how far along you are!" I don't know. I disagree. I was a lot smaller with Annie, I think. This time, I think I look just as far a long as I should. What do you think?
These were, I think, around 18-19 weeks:

27 weeks, 2 days (I am not poking my stomach out and yes this is the same day that everyone said I don't look pregnant??):

I was wearing some not so pregnant looking clothes, perhaps. Compare Annie belly pics, 20 weeks: http://katie-sunnyside.blogspot.com/2008_03_01_archive.html and almost 30 weeks: http://katie-sunnyside.blogspot.com/2008_05_01_archive.html

So far, this pregnancy has gone well. I am "pregnancy peaking" - meaning I feel pretty great right now. I was much, much sicker at the beginning than with Annie, but now I have a lot less of the aches and pains than I had with Annie (knock on wood, I know.) With Annie, I had a LOT of low pressure that made walking more than a mile pretty uncomfortable. I don't have any of that yet, and my c-section scar, which I heard would burn and hurt while stretching, feels fine. So, no real complaints right now. Being pregnant with number two isn't as all-consuming as being pregnant with number one is, but it is no less special. Being pregnant is pretty much the same as being a walking miracle! It is amazing.

Now pregnancy doctor details for those who are interested (feel free to skip the rest of this post if you are not into medical details!). When I first got pregnant, I went back to my old doctor. Chris was shocked that I would go back to him, but I guess I forgot some of the bad parts and some of the anger I felt after this: http://katie-sunnyside.blogspot.com/2008/08/birth-story.html When I go back and relive my birth with Annie, there were a lot of things that went wrong. I trusted a doctor who I knew was not on the same wavelength as I was. Yes, my BP went up, and yes that is a major risk in pregnancy. BUT, my BP was not that high, and I had no other indication of preeclampsia. I was never offered the opportunity to take bedrest, and I was too stupid to insist on it. I went for my appointment, and Dr. C. said, "oh we'll just induce you. I just did it yesterday in the same circumstance and it turned out GREAT!" Stupid, stupid me. The thing is, that I never actually had a "trial of labor." I was never given cervidil; they started me on pitocin without even seeing if I was dilated or effaced at all (I was fingertip-dilated and not effaced at all); and Dr. C. broke my water the second he walked in the room. Quote: "let's have this baby today." That scenario was a scenario for failure, and I didn't know any better!

I think my major mistake was going with a doctor who was not on my same wavelength. The medical decisions he made for me are not out of line with common OB practices today, but they are out of line with how I would choose to do things. With Dr. C., I became "high risk," and this is what we when people are high risk - I was not asked my thoughts or opinions and nothing was debatable. So when I got pregnant again and went back to Dr. C., I politely asked a few innocent questions such as, "what do you think about me trying a VBAC?" (answer: "maybe, maybe, IF you went into labor by yourself at 37 weeks.") and "what if my BP stays down and is normal? Can I avoid a lot of the [unnecessary] monitoring I had last time" (answer: I am not going to apologize for giving you the best care possible.") Yeah, see ya buddy! While I miss his awesome nurse and efficient staff, I am happy with my decision to find a new doctor.

Yikes, this is getting long. But I need to write it all, to process it and to explain my thoughts.

So I found a new OB practice with one midwife and three OBs. And they want me to have a VBAC; they think it is a good decision. And because my stupid BP is up again, we are at the point of discussing more monitoring, and we are discussing it! They are treating me like an intelligent, reasonable person ... imagine that! So this is where we are: they will let me go to 41 weeks minimally, provided the damn BP keeps responding to meds, and the necessity of monitoring will be discussed between the doctors and me. Meaning, if my BP stays down with meds, I will not need the ridiculous twice weekly NSTs and once weekly ultrasound I got with Annie. As I explained it to the new doctor, I am not anti-intervention, but I also do not feel the need to know every little detail of my pregnancy. This does not make me feel like I am receiving the best care, it makes me feel like the doctors are simply covering their asses and I am wasting my money.

So, the VBAC. I am equally torn between excitement and fear. I always thought I would want a VBAC just because it seems more natural. Also, I want the full experience of childbirth. Then, the more I read, the more it makes sense for me to have one. I doubt (God-willing) that this is our last child, and multiple c-sections can affect your fertility. Also, the risks of uterine rupture (0.5%) is lower than the increased risk of hysterectomy after repeat c-sections. While c-section may seem safer at the time, it is clearly not the right decision long-term. I know that I will be successful if I can go into labor on my own, but I am afraid that I might not get there. I am not taking a labor class this time (too much time and money for something that may not be), but I am meditating on my own, practicing some relaxation breathing, and sending positive vibes for a successful VBAC.

Thank you for reading! Let me know if you have any questions, and if you are contemplating pregnancy, FIND A DOCTOR WHOSE PHILOSOPHY YOU AGREE WITH!

funny girl

Annie speaks very clearly, albeit in a very soft voice. (Commonly heard: "use your loud voice, Annie.") One problem of this is that she very rarely makes those cute mistakes that you hear kids making. I don't know why - she must practice words in her crib or something to get them down before she adds the words to her repertoire. Example: We thought she was being so cute when she asked for "orange j." Some adorable combo of orange juice and o.j., right? Well, after Chris and I giggling to ourselves and saying, "yeah, sure, here is your orange j.!" Ha ha.... She says, "orange j. is orange juice, mom." Um, thanks.

This does not mean that Annie isn't funny. Even if what she is saying comes out clearly, she still has funny thoughts in her head. Last night at Publix:

I couldn't find my list and was frantically searching for it while Annie was still strapped in her seat.
A: "The list missing, mom?"
K: "Yes, I can't seem to find it."
A: "You sad?"
K: "Kind of. This is annoying."
A: "I sad too."
K: "Well, it's OK. We'll figure it out."
A: "You happy?"

and
A: "That Santa?" (Salvation Army guy)
K: "Yup."
A: "That Santa wearing blue jeans?"
K: "Well that is actually one of Santa's helpers."

finally
A: "You getting beer, mom?"
K: "Yup. Does mommy drink beer?"
A: [laughs] "NO!"
K: "Do you drink beer?"
A: [laughs] "NO!"
K: "Who drinks beer?"
A: "Daddy. Daddy lub beer. Boys lub beer. Girls don't lub beer."

see what I mean?

HELP ME! PLEASE HELP ME figure out how to get the pictures to post nicely with the correct text near them. thank you.

bon voyage

Is it bad when I actually get pictures on facebook before on here? I think I would be better at putting pics up if it were easier to format them!! Oh my gosh putting pics on blogger is such a pian!

Could you do this every day? Hell yes we could!

night out with the entire crowd (yes, we met the famous Liz and she is great!):

wearing shades to hide the tears, I think:

Annie, of course, had to swim. I think she was the first one in on Saturday. Girl likes to swim and doesn't get cold.

Miami really made an impression on Annie. She keeps "seeing" Miami everywhere (palm trees, lights at night, etc.) and saying, "MIAMI!" And she asked if we were going to Brian's house. I think we will have to back.

Miami for the bon voyage was a really nice weekend. Brian and Jess were fabulous hosts and it was great seeing the boat in action. They are really doing this! And my great adventure is a new baby?! Exciting, yes, but, really, how does it compare with sailing around the world?

The whole crowd (minus Patrick and Liz):

halloween 2010

We thought she was going to need to be a slutty Raggedy because it was last year's costume and her long flamingo legs are a little ridiculous with last year's dresses, but then we remembered it came with pants. So, thanks for another adorable year, Ali!!

She totally got it, the knocking on the door, the "trick or treat" in her ridiculously soft voice, and, of course, the "get some candy." It can almost make a Halloween scrooge such as myself a Halloween lover (almost). Thank goodness the Snyders had a camera to capture our little Raggedy. She is already saying that next year, she "might be Raggedy, might be princess."

made a new blog goal

With the launch of www.gualbynation.blogspot.com, I have remembered how fun blogs are, and I am going to surpass my pathetic 27 posts of last year by the end of the year. No, make that 40 posts by the end of the year. That's my goal. I may not be traveling the world, but I do have some things to say. Even if no one reads them, I can write them for me. Happy Friday!

felt little kicks from the outside last night!

Yup, 18 weeks, 5 days pregnant with BP2. I lost over two months of my life in a haze of sickness and exhaustion, hence a semi-event-filled summer that I refuse to document. I would like to, but it is creating this pressure that makes me not want to blog. So I will say that, while this hopefully not our last child, I thought never again many times from late June until mid August.

Oh, and Annie is a hilarious, ABC-singing wonder-child.

She is just funny. This morning Chris let me sleep in a little and they were making pancakes but they couldn't find the syrup. I heard Annie say, "Mommy will find the syrup." We are working on emotions - happy, sad, mad, surprised, etc. - I asked Annie to make her mad face this morning and she said, "NO! I want to be happy!"

does this count?

first paragraph TMI warning....

We have been working rather halfheartedly with Annie about peeing on the potty. I figure we will go cold turkey with daytime diapers when I am home for two weeks at Christmas if we're not there yet (she'll be nearly 2 1/2 then and dammit I am back with the parentheses!). The problem with this is that she now knows how to take her diaper off and does it often. As I had her ready for the tub last night, she started peeing down her leg, so I pushed her on the potty that was right there and she finished in the potty! Yay????? I think maybe it was a coincidence, but a milestone all the same.

In other news, Annie talks, talks, talks all day long. She knows hundreds of words and is constantly surprising me with all she knows. She knows her colors, ALL foods (future chef like dad?), obscure body parts, and she loves knowing who is who. And what belongs to whom; e.g. Daddy's beer, Nana's yogurt. And where everyone is; e.g. Daddy running? Daddy watering plants? She likes to talk about her friends, stuffed animal friends and school friends and family friends. I learned a couple weeks ago that she could count to ten when I heard her just a-countin' in her crib on the baby monitor as she woke up from a nap! She skips six at least half the time. (that was a former parentheses phrase - perhaps I should have just left it in regular font). She knows her ABC's in and in-and-out fashion, knows a few in a row, hums a few, says a few, claps and cheers at the end! She likes imaginary play and tea parties. She is getting out of the parroting stage and has started actually answering some questions. I have also noticed that her memory has improved. For example, we went down to see Meghan last week for her birthday and Annie keeps talking about her. Well, she talks about Penny maybe a bit more, as in, "Penny Meghan's dog." I didn't notice much of a bond there, but Annie sensed something. Here is a silly video from today. I am figuring out my webcam. sorry for the bright light in the back. Also, here is an old video (maybe 3-4 months old) that is a little weird (I think Annie is sick or either JUST woke up) but I don't know what else to do with it and I like the way Chris whistles at the end.

hair

This is one of Annie's first hairdo's back in September 2009:

Annie is a cute girl. She has a sweet little face and a nice, shy personality and a pretty smile, albeit with some, um, interesting, teeth. But her hair is her best feature! She likes to have it done. She looks in the mirror and says "pigtails?" "bows?" "barrettes?" "pretty!!" It is fuzzy and crazy but fun. She uses conditioner every day but sometimes still has bad hair days.

Sometimes it is totally under control, sometimes completely wild, but always absolutely adorable! her little pigtails actually look like pigtails, and I am going to be so tired when her

curls stop defying gravity!

new york city in italics

I have a very annoying habit while writing of overusing parentheses (I am sure you have noticed this). I do it here, I do it in emails constantly, and I am not sure why. An old friend named Kevin who I thought of out of the blue yesterday once told me that I write emails like a 12 year old but that was okay because he could hear my voice when he read them (this was when I was overusing ....). I think I mostly use parentheses because I think fast, I type fast, and I want to add new thoughts but I don't want to figure out where they logically fit in. Anyway, OUT with parentheses, New York City was so fabulous that it is time to move on to a new literary style.

Anyway, do you find this quote depressing?

"All the lives we could live, all the people we will never know, never will be, they are everywhere. That is what the world is."

-Alexander Hermon

Chris says this is depressing, but I disagree. Not that it is incredibly uplifting, but it is truth. Our lives our products of choice meets destiny and we have to be happy where we are. Bloom where we are planted.

Anyway, in another life, I would have been a hip urbanite! Don't they talk about New York in the springtime or something? It really is that great.

Chris won a trip to New York City for being such a work superstar, so we traveled to NYC with 44 of our closest Sysco friends :) We walked and wandered, held hands, ran through Central Park, had a fabulous late lunch/early dinner at one of Chris's favorite chef's restaurants, saw a rockin' Rock of Ages, went for a breathtaking sunset cruise, and capped it all off with a couple hours just hanging out on a rooftop being cool with my cousins. It was so nice seeing them. We had a great time and enjoyed each other, but, even more so, maybe fell in love with Sysco a little bit again. It is simply wonderful having a husband who enjoys his job. The view from our hotel room and more:

happy beach days

We had a beautiful, joyful Easter with glorious weather. The azaleas, a month late, are finally in bloom and it is just so easy to love life.

It is a special thing to see the world through Annie's eyes. I love her so much she brings tears to my eyes. She has no memory whatsoever of last summer (which she loved). It is all new and all great. She love, loves the water. She is not a particularly fearless or adventurous child. She leans more toward caution, sitting at the top of the slide and building up her confidence before pushing off. She is so brave in the water though! She will go in up to her waist and does not want to be helped, but she likes me to stand right there. Then when she sees a big wave or feels a big wave pulling her feet, she can reach out and hold onto my leg. We cannot keep her out of the water, and it is only 63 degrees. Yes, she is my daughter. And when I finally have to pick her up and carry her back to the sand, I see our shadows, which have long legs and heads with matching halos of curly fuzz.

beach

Yesterday was, finally, lovely. I went for a quick run and then Annie, Toby, and I went to the beach while Chris went for his run. It was fun and beautiful but more than I could handle. Toby was so stoked to be at the beach that he was going crazy, chasing the ball and swimming and generally running around. Annie decide she wanted to go in the water and was doing okay until she was completely taken out by a small wave and rolled in her perfectly dry clothes. Before pictures:

birthday "week"

The last time I had a birthday week was probably in Gainesville. Back then, birthdays were definitely several days long but usually lasted at least a week. A perfect example of this was Jessica and Ellen's 21st birthdays, which were two Thursdays in a row, giving us all a two-week party.

I really am surprised and a little traumatized to be leaving my 20's behind. This is less traumatizing that surprising. I am 30.....? 30...?! What does this mean? I can't actually remember my 20th birthday, but it probably went something like this: BBQ at Royal Village, maybe some time by the pool if it was warm enough, beer, then maybe capped off by a night at Grog. I was single at this point, enjoying the Gville life. Ten years later, life is different: calmer, slower yet busier at the same time, happy, better. Yes, different, but I would say better. In some ways my life now is surprising but also could have been predicted. At this point in my journey, I am confident and capable, loving and open.

Now, away from the middle-aged rambling and back to the basics. My birthday started with dinner at our house and drinks at Fly's Tie on 3/20. Chris made a meatless feast, and many of my favorite people took their time to celebrate me! :) What feels better than good friends? My real birthday, though somewhat dampened by the transmission news and a horrid case of laryngytis, was fun and celebratory when we went to dinner with Nana, Mom, and Dad. Today, a trip to the zoo put the finishing touches on a very special and memorable week. A few pics:

Giraffe:

Annie, Chris and an elephant bum:

Annie and Grandma:

pissing off the car gods

Truly sorry to be so crude. As most of you probably do not know, Chris and I really turned over a new leaf this year. I read Dave Ramsey and we have really (100% truly) been budgeting and saving - not some of the time but all of the time. I am not going to be crude again and talk about money, but we are like most Americans in that we have very little in emergency savings. We are not idiots. We pay our bills and we contribute to our retirement, but there just is not much left over. Dave is inspirational, and we finally (finally!) got a mini emergency fund and I was feeling in control and positive until this week when our emergency fund is not nearly enough to cover all this crap:

3/19: Katie's blinker on the fritz (yes, this is apparently cheap although I don't know because I haven't fixed it yet but this just set the tone)
3/20: Squeaky brakes = new rotors for Chris = sorry Kate, you have to wait another week for two new tires even though you have to fill up the one with the slow leak several times a week (good thing I don't drive far)
3/22: Katie's car won't start = new starter (the only blessing in this is the angel at the auto parts store who saved us several hours of labor)
3/23: Chris new transmission (total damage TBA)
3/23: Adding it because it is truly odd that it happened today: all my radio stations spontaneously reset to fuzz. What the......?????????

My last post as a 29 year old is a total pity post. I guess I won't be blogging from my new birthday laptop tomorrow.

Bah. You know how you feel like you work so hard to get ahead and get your life in order and, in a blink, you are back to square one? Have you been there?

adventures in toddler-raising

While I was neglecting Anne today, and by neglecting I mean cooking dinner, she took the cup we use to wash her hair out of the tub and used it to empty all the water out of the toilet onto the bathroom floor. Yes, we left the lid open, and, yes, thank goodness, we had flushed. I went in and caught her doing it and she looked GUILTY. I took her clothes off to put her in the bath before drying the floor, and she slipped and fell in her puddle and hit her head on the tile. She started screaming so I picked her up but apparently the fall scared the #%$* out of her. This is a family blog, but let's just say my shirt was soaked. All in a day's work! HA!!! Love this mini girl..... :)

marathon man

Who needs the Olympics (and I love the Olympics) when I have inspiration in my own home?!

Go Chris! His goal was to break 4 hours on his first marathon, and he ran 4:00:17. My hero :)

We had fans, a darling mini girl in pink, and a really tired but really awesome dad:

makeover!

Yesterday and today I did two things I have not done since Annie was born: painted my fingernails and straightened my hair. (slight exaggeration: I have painted clear since Annie was born and one time the hairdresser straightened for me but still.....) some self portraits (do you like the dark nails?):

Chris keeps asking me why I did this. I want to feel pretty, thank you very much.

I think I need a new camera. It is impossible to not get one shot of such an adorable mini girl (and she is a cutie). Annie today:

and a little video

I can't remember of this is cute, but I feel like I have to post all videos because I don't know what else to do with them. This is from November/December, I think.

and some pics

um, I have no good pics. None. She is camera-shy and turns her face. I am nowhere near fully blaming the subject; I am a crappy photgrapher.

Awesome hat Grammie knit for her:

Putting her friends to bed (facing them down), then laying down herself:

She looked absolutely adorable on V-day, which I am sure you can tell:

hanging out on the counter on Saturday morning while Mom makes pancakes:

you can't do it all

If this week has taught me anything, it is that you (the figurative you meaning all mothers, including Heidi Klum and Angelina and all others who seem to have everything together) truly cannot have it all. Most days, I think I do. And I'm right. But I have (1) a husband whose hours are really great who works partly from home; (2) lots of family help, without which I would be lost; (3) a relatively flexible job and a one-mile commute; and, most importantly, (4) a pretty easy little girl, of whom I am just proud to death. This feeling of pride is rather new, actually, especially considering all her accomplishments: walking, talking, eating, smiling....

Those accomplishments, certainly huge, have been more inevitable achievements than sources of pride for me. She was going to walk, crawl, and feed herself. She was not necessarily, however, going to be a darling little girl at the hospital for 7 hours, half the time hooked up to and IV. Other non-inevitable wonders: she is pleasant every single morning, she is a joy at school and gets a great report every day, she is friendly and sweet and just a good mini-friend to have around for company. Her progress amazes me daily: talking nonstop, using her silverware almost all the time, counting, dancing, spinning, sliding. Some nice recent moments:

• always asking where everyone is. She'll look at me, raise her hands up, squint her eyes, shrug her shoulders, and ask, "Nana?"
• sees the pictures of Bert in her Sesame Street book and calls him "Pops." HA!
• A long time ago we tried to teach her "peace," as in, hold up your two fingers and say "peace." It didn't really take at the time, but now it seems that it has. If you hold up your fingers to count, she'll say, "one, peace, three, peace, five...." Apparently four is double-peace.
• lots of funny little words, "anya" for "orange," "doo doo" for "toby" (the toby I do not get because she can say all the sounds of his name)
• so creative and imaginative... putting all her friends down for naps and reading them a book, fake eating and drinking out of her tea set, constantly rearranging her furniture, putting on some music when she is ready to dance

Anyway, I rambled past my original point. I'm tired. And lucky. This week has been like having a newborn again. I have been up half the night, carrying Annie everywhere, picking up puke, worrying. Imagine if I didn't have an Annie and I had someone more difficult. What if I were doing this all myself? It is truly amazing what mothers accomplish every day and I thank Annie for putting everything back into perspective for me this week. sorry for the sap and the ramble.

spring? spring? spring?

This winter is killing me. It is not that the weather has been horrible overall. The averages have been averages, but we usually get a few nice, 70+ days. This is Florida, after all. But this winter is brutal and my soul is crying out for some warmth.

So, on to the important stuff. Annie has been sick, sick, sick this week. She finally landed in the ER when her temperature topped 106. She's peacefully and cool-ly sleeping now, and I think we are mostly over it. Here is the poor thing in the hospital (pre-IV with her friends Baby and Sherm):

She seemed to be feeling better for a little while yesterday and had time for a tea party.

quickie update on the last four months

a sad trip to Rockport to say goodbye to my Grandpa.

A quiet and thankful Thanksgiving.

A hectic, happy, very merry but pictureless Christmas.

Here's to a great 2010.