pregnancy update

So last night I got a whole lotta this: "you don't look pregnant at ALL." and "you are so small for how far along you are!" I don't know. I disagree. I was a lot smaller with Annie, I think. This time, I think I look just as far a long as I should. What do you think?
These were, I think, around 18-19 weeks:

27 weeks, 2 days (I am not poking my stomach out and yes this is the same day that everyone said I don't look pregnant??):

I was wearing some not so pregnant looking clothes, perhaps. Compare Annie belly pics, 20 weeks: http://katie-sunnyside.blogspot.com/2008_03_01_archive.html and almost 30 weeks: http://katie-sunnyside.blogspot.com/2008_05_01_archive.html

So far, this pregnancy has gone well. I am "pregnancy peaking" - meaning I feel pretty great right now. I was much, much sicker at the beginning than with Annie, but now I have a lot less of the aches and pains than I had with Annie (knock on wood, I know.) With Annie, I had a LOT of low pressure that made walking more than a mile pretty uncomfortable. I don't have any of that yet, and my c-section scar, which I heard would burn and hurt while stretching, feels fine. So, no real complaints right now. Being pregnant with number two isn't as all-consuming as being pregnant with number one is, but it is no less special. Being pregnant is pretty much the same as being a walking miracle! It is amazing.

Now pregnancy doctor details for those who are interested (feel free to skip the rest of this post if you are not into medical details!). When I first got pregnant, I went back to my old doctor. Chris was shocked that I would go back to him, but I guess I forgot some of the bad parts and some of the anger I felt after this: http://katie-sunnyside.blogspot.com/2008/08/birth-story.html When I go back and relive my birth with Annie, there were a lot of things that went wrong. I trusted a doctor who I knew was not on the same wavelength as I was. Yes, my BP went up, and yes that is a major risk in pregnancy. BUT, my BP was not that high, and I had no other indication of preeclampsia. I was never offered the opportunity to take bedrest, and I was too stupid to insist on it. I went for my appointment, and Dr. C. said, "oh we'll just induce you. I just did it yesterday in the same circumstance and it turned out GREAT!" Stupid, stupid me. The thing is, that I never actually had a "trial of labor." I was never given cervidil; they started me on pitocin without even seeing if I was dilated or effaced at all (I was fingertip-dilated and not effaced at all); and Dr. C. broke my water the second he walked in the room. Quote: "let's have this baby today." That scenario was a scenario for failure, and I didn't know any better!

I think my major mistake was going with a doctor who was not on my same wavelength. The medical decisions he made for me are not out of line with common OB practices today, but they are out of line with how I would choose to do things. With Dr. C., I became "high risk," and this is what we when people are high risk - I was not asked my thoughts or opinions and nothing was debatable. So when I got pregnant again and went back to Dr. C., I politely asked a few innocent questions such as, "what do you think about me trying a VBAC?" (answer: "maybe, maybe, IF you went into labor by yourself at 37 weeks.") and "what if my BP stays down and is normal? Can I avoid a lot of the [unnecessary] monitoring I had last time" (answer: I am not going to apologize for giving you the best care possible.") Yeah, see ya buddy! While I miss his awesome nurse and efficient staff, I am happy with my decision to find a new doctor.

Yikes, this is getting long. But I need to write it all, to process it and to explain my thoughts.

So I found a new OB practice with one midwife and three OBs. And they want me to have a VBAC; they think it is a good decision. And because my stupid BP is up again, we are at the point of discussing more monitoring, and we are discussing it! They are treating me like an intelligent, reasonable person ... imagine that! So this is where we are: they will let me go to 41 weeks minimally, provided the damn BP keeps responding to meds, and the necessity of monitoring will be discussed between the doctors and me. Meaning, if my BP stays down with meds, I will not need the ridiculous twice weekly NSTs and once weekly ultrasound I got with Annie. As I explained it to the new doctor, I am not anti-intervention, but I also do not feel the need to know every little detail of my pregnancy. This does not make me feel like I am receiving the best care, it makes me feel like the doctors are simply covering their asses and I am wasting my money.

So, the VBAC. I am equally torn between excitement and fear. I always thought I would want a VBAC just because it seems more natural. Also, I want the full experience of childbirth. Then, the more I read, the more it makes sense for me to have one. I doubt (God-willing) that this is our last child, and multiple c-sections can affect your fertility. Also, the risks of uterine rupture (0.5%) is lower than the increased risk of hysterectomy after repeat c-sections. While c-section may seem safer at the time, it is clearly not the right decision long-term. I know that I will be successful if I can go into labor on my own, but I am afraid that I might not get there. I am not taking a labor class this time (too much time and money for something that may not be), but I am meditating on my own, practicing some relaxation breathing, and sending positive vibes for a successful VBAC.

Thank you for reading! Let me know if you have any questions, and if you are contemplating pregnancy, FIND A DOCTOR WHOSE PHILOSOPHY YOU AGREE WITH!